Detour 2 of 3: Good boy
I’m still writing a book
But it’s no longer about “me.” For all practical purposes, I’ve started over.
It’s not my story as much as it’s a story about a person who is kind of like me. With every similarity, there’s staunch differences between the protagonist and I, which has allowed me to create something more interesting. I am him in many ways but in others, I’m not.
For example, the protagonist and I smoke the same brand of cigarettes, have a mutual affinity for Kentucky brown liquor and Black Sabbath, love our dog, and share many similar past experiences that have shaped our perspectives about love, loss, friendship, and faith — or lack thereof.
However, the protagonist is a hermit by choice. He’s a man of few words where I can sometimes have too many. He can count all of his friends on one hand while I have an abundance of people I consider to be close friends.
This is the case for the other characters as well. Many of the characters are loosely based on people in my life. The protagonist’s two best friends are a combination of four of my own. They mimic behaviors, sayings, mannerisms, and tendencies, but no one character is directly based on an actual person.
While all the characters are combinations of actual people and/or are purely fictional, one character is uniquely based on a real “person.”
The protagonist’s dog — “Geezer” — is a direct reflection of my own dog Memphis. From his characteristics to the description of his mixed breed — Geezer and Memphis are one in the same.
Anyone who knows me knows how much I love my Memphis and I’ve written about Memphis quite a bit in the old draft of my book. And since my old draft will never see the light of day outside of three select “Detours,” I wanted to share a little section dedicated to my little shadow.
Detour 2 of 3: Good boy
The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man’s.
-Mark Twain
April, 2021. 7 am.
Smoke from my first cigarette of the day intertwines with the steam floating upwards from my fresh cup of coffee.
I dread starting my work day as work lately has been hell — I have a new manager I don’t vibe with and find myself in deep thought about my next career move.
As I start to get overwhelmed with all the work I have to get done, a dirty blue ball is tossed at my feet.
Looking up at me in his ready to play stance is my dog, Memphis. At first, I don’t want to play, but Memphis volleys the ball back again to my feet with eyes that say, “Come on, dad — let’s play.”
Memphis’ insistent plea to play eventually brings a smile to my face and for the next hour, I put my day aside and play fetch. And while Memphis’ insatiable drive to play can get annoying at times, seeing him run around and love life the way a dog ought to, never ceases to bring me joy.
In June of 2018, my wife and I adopted Memphis when he was four months old. Memphis — or as I like to call him, Memmy Boy, Memtown, or Boba — is a 45 pound Black Lab/Aussie Cattledog mix. He plays hard, snuggles hard, and has the shiniest, jet black coat I’ve ever seen. I may be biased but as many of my wife and I’s friends will agree, Memphis is one of the goodest “good boys” to walk the earth on four paws.
The day we got him, he was naturally “good.” He picked up commands quickly and is a master at “leave it.”
He loves to play but is the definition of a snuggle bug in bed — especially on the weekends when we sleep in. Even when our regular work week 5 am alarm goes off, like us, he is more times than not, slow to get the day started and savors every bit of tired eye cuddling.
I’m a remote worker and Memphis is quite literally my little shadow. If I’m hard at work in my office, he’s snoozing close by. And if I get up to grab another coffee, go to the bathroom, or grab my keys to go outside, he’s always there. His one desire is to be close to me and my wife.
Despite his sweet and playful demeanor, Memphis had a nightmare-ish first three or so months of puppy-hood.
When Memphis was a baby, he lived at a shelter down in Alabama that was broken into. The thieves stole him and a handful of other puppies to use as bait in dog fights.
According to the story told to us by Rescue Charlie’s Friends — the foster home we adopted him from — Memphis was saved during a dog-fight bust where he was allegedly next in line to be thrown into the ring.
After the bust, RCF got the remaining puppies sent to their peaceful facility tucked away in Maine. My wife and I originally applied for a sweet girl who came up with Memphis — a German/Aussie Shepherd mix who had scabs up her back from dog bites — but missed her by a day. RCF emailed me to tell me she was taken, but told me that an “absolute cuddle-bug” of a puppy named Buddy — Memphis — was still available.
As soon as I saw his picture, I shared it with H and asked if she was interested — from the moment I saw him, I knew he would be ours and I paid the deposit not even five minutes after we saw his picture.
Like my wife, I’ve always loved dogs and grew up having them as pets — and while I’ve always admired their instincts, it wasn’t until I became a “dog dad” myself that I realized what these four legged creatures can teach us as humans.
Three things Memphis has taught me
1. We all need a master — i.e., parameters
When I say “master” I don’t mean a master/slave dynamic as much as I mean parameters.
If left to their own devices, dogs will be “bad” as there isn’t anything to hold them accountable and teach them what is acceptable behavior and what is not. They need and desire to be a part of a pack but unless they’re presented with a clear alpha, dogs will take that role upon themselves and do as they please.
Human beings are similar — we need parameters to guide us on what is right and wrong. For some, those parameters are a higher being. For other’s it’s a socially constructed moral/ethical code.
Whatever the case may be, we need them. We need to answer to something that’s greater than ourselves in order to truly differentiate right and wrong. I believe that if we don’t and are left with our own innate desire to do whatever we want, we will live a life where we think we’re totally in control.
I firmly believe in the idea that there is no such thing as a “bad” dog. There are only bad masters — i.e., bad parameters. And if humans don’t have worthwhile and good parameters, we will also be “bad.”
2. We all need to find our “blue ball”
When I watch Memphis obsess over his blue ball, I don’t just see a dog playing fetch — I see an unrelenting vigor. Memphis is a mix of two working dogs — the Labrador in him gives him the drive and desire to retrieve something, and the Cattledog in him provides an unmatched stamina to “work” all day.
While playing fetch seems to be a simple activity to humans, fetch is in many ways Memphis’ purpose. It allows him to do what he’s created to do. To him, fetch isn’t just a game, it’s his job and he does his job with total focus, agility, and vitality.
Like dogs, I believe humans are also designed to work hard and when we find a job that feeds our vigor, we ought to do it with everything in us. Memphis wasn’t designed to sit idle and be lazy and I believe, neither are we as humans.
So, find your blue ball and chase it relentlessly.
And when you catch it, keep chasing it.
3. If we should be anything, we should be loyal
Like many dog lovers, if there is one natural characteristic I admire most out of dogs it is their loyalty. Unlike humans, loyalty is innate and doesn’t have to be taught — it’s a natural reaction when a dog is presented with a pack.
To this day, I have yet to see a dog who wants to be a “lone wolf.” And even if I witness a dog who isn’t good with people or other dogs, it’s clear that the supposed “alpha” hasn’t reinforced their true desire to be a dedicated member of a pack.
If Memphis is anything, he is loyal.
As previously mentioned, if it’s just him and I at home he is my shadow and he will only relax if H and/or I are at home. Oftentimes when we leave him alone, I’ll periodically check our security camera and will always see him perched at the window, diligently awaiting our return.
While this characteristic isn’t unique to Memphis, it’s a reminder that we too should display the utmost loyalty to our pack — i.e., our family.
We aren’t meant to be loners. We are designed to be dedicated members to our family — whether that family is biological, by choice, or due to circumstance.
When you find your pack, be loyal and hold them close.
If I had to choose between any one human friend and Memphis to live forever, I’d choose Memphis. Not because I don’t love my friends but because Memphis would choose me too. Adjacent to true friendship is loyalty and in many cases, loyalty is everything.
At the end of the day, even your best friend could turn out to be a fickle one. Dogs don’t have the capacity to do that — they’re your ride or die until it’s their time to pass.
Look to the dog
These three examples are just a few of the many things that owning a dog has taught me. Dogs love endlessly and I believe they are great examples of how we as humans should be.
When it comes to how I should approach life, particularly when it comes to what my parameters are, work ethic, and loyalty, I seldom look to humans.
For these things, I look to the dog — I look to Memphis.
P.S., Here’s a few more pictures of me and Memtown being buds.
